Late night texts

There is nothing more annoying than a late night text. Okay, okay, there are things far more annoying, and I usually don’t see texts until the morning anyways because I sleep through the notification going off, but seriously. They annoy me.

There are a few different kinds of late night texts that I loathe.

# 1 - drunk texts / texts from boys in the middle of the night that you don’t really like because they are big, fat, jerkoffs that need to make an appointment with my open hand to their faces. Just don’t do it. If you have something to say, call me in the morning and we can meet up to talk about it, k?

# 2 - middle of the night “favor” texts. I have kids and I’m a single parent. Don’t call me or text me in the middle of the night asking for favors unless you are REALLY in a bad place and need me to come to rescue (example - at the hospital or something). I’m not going to wake up two toddlers out of their lollipop & sugarplum dreams to come pick you up. Why? Because I won’t have sugary children, I’ll have two raging, screaming, tear fests on my hands and you aren’t going to help me take care of them/calm them down/get them to go back to sleep after I get you. So just don’t do it.

# 3 - texts in the middle of the night on a weekday. I’m a working mom, I’m in bed by 10 pm at the latest. You will never get a response back from me in the middle of the night so why even bother?

This has been a public service announcement. My rant & rave has commenced. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.